Over the winter break, my family spent time with my mother-in-law, my parents, and my brothers’ family. We had a fantastic time cooking, eating, playing, and catching up on each others’ lives. When you don’t live in the same state or even the same time zone as your most treasured loved ones, these visits are needed to fill in the blanks that inevitably develop when you have only had phone and Skype conversations.
Over the last two years, a new conversation has been introduced into our family’s dialogue: The “If I Die” talk. The first time my parents and I talked about topic, we were eating Thai food after a loved one’s funeral. The anticipation of this conversation caused much more anxiety than the actual exchange. We talked about music selections (my dad loved the rousing rendition of “When the Saints Go Marching In” at my grandpa’s funeral), and discussed possible locations. Then, we started talking about money. This is where the conversation became the most interesting and meaningful. My parents and I talked about their possible legacy – what causes and people they cared about, and what their estate might provide for each. I hope my parents live to be healthy 104-year-olds and spend every last dime of their money but if they don’t, I am glad they will be able to leave a legacy.
This year, my parents told me they were going to update their will. Their last version was when my brother and I were kids so our needs have changed. This conversation led to a discussion of different planned giving tools – lead trusts, remainder trusts, etc. My parents are opting for a simple percentage system, but it is always good to consider your options.
I recently added a planned giving section to the BCD website giving page. It is a good place to start when you are considering your own or a loved ones’ legacy. I hope to continue to add resources to this section over time. Another good resource is the Berkshire Taconic Community Foundation, as is your personal financial advisor.
